Sorority Row relies on blood, sex for thrills
If you feel like seeing another standard slasher flick with cheap thrills and scantily-clad girls, then Sorority Row is for you. If you feel like seeing a movie with any sort of substance, meaning or even a well-done plot line, save yourself the $8.50 and watch a movie in your room instead.
The movie begins with six Theta Pi sisters playing a joke on one of the girl's cheating boyfriend. They pretend that she has over-dosed from roofies and now, since it was their fault, they have to dump the body. However, once the sisters and the boyfriend make it out to the desert, the prank goes awry. In an attempt to "release all the air from her lungs so her body doesn't rise to the water's surface," Megan (Audrina Patridge) is killed by her own boyfriend when he impales her lungs with a tire iron. After realizing that Megan is now in fact dead, the sisters have to dump the body for real. So they do just that, and agree to never speak of it again.
Fast-forward a few months later to college graduation and Theta Pi is throwing the party of the year. Maybe I'm just naïve from life here on the Hill, but the last time I checked, most college parties didn't involve numerous hot tubs, a backyard filled with bubbles, naked girls jumping on trampolines, unlimited kegs, a musical performer and more naked girls. Throughout the day the five sorority sisters and the killer boyfriend begin receiving texts and picture messages from Megan's phone warning the group that "she is coming for them". Suddenly, those involved, and anyone that they might have told their secret to, start dying, one by one. They go back to the place where they had dumped her body, and after discovering that her rotting corpse is still there, they FINALLY realize that it can't be Megan out for revenge after all! (Shocking!)
The sisters, or at least the ones who are still alive at this point, return to the sorority house to find it completely trashed and empty. For some reason they think it a good idea to stay in the empty house by themselves, but naturally the killer shows up there too. There are a few more good deaths (always done with a tire iron to reflect what was done to Megan, of course), before we finally get to find out who the killer is. I guess in a way you can call it a good twist in the sense that you really don't see it coming; but, it is really just bad because although you don't see it coming, it doesn't make much sense either. And, after the three girls that are still alive kill the killer, they walk out of the sorority house (which is somehow completely engulfed in flames at this point) in their underwear, just as the moment the police and fire department arrive.
While the movie offers a few scares and some bloody death scenes, the cast is completely comprised of no-name actors and actresses. The most notable sorority sisters include Bruce Willis's daughter Rumer and Jamie Chung from The Real World: San Diego. The movie also makes all college students appear to be drunk, drug-addicted sluts and bimbos who are only looking out for themselves and have no compassion for others. The parties are completely unrealistic, and although I don't live in a sorority house I have friends whodo and I'm pretty sure they never behave the way the girls in the movie do. My favorite part of the movie was the end credits, which include characters such as "Bra-Clad Sister," "Trampoline Sister," "Already Drunk Sister," "Slutty Sister," "Stoned Dude," and, my personal favorite, "Hot Guy."
And luckily, because I can't wait to go waste another $8.50 at the movie theater, they left the ending completely open for a potential sequel, which I'm sure will be just as good as the original.