The 2011 Winter Carnival Dance had a great turnout, and was an overall success. However, I couldn’t help but notice girls hurrying through the doors of Pulver in order to quickly seek refuge from the characteristic bitter cold of Maine. While 10° F is not a foreign temperature to students on the Hill, it was still cold to be showing any bare skin.

We all reap the benefits of the Maine weather—I mean without all this snow, the Sculpture Contest would not have been nearly as cool, and I shouldn’t have to mention the wonders it did for the jumps at the Rail Jam on Chapel Hill—but for some reason we all complain just the same. However, this weekend there was a reason: the typical female attire for the evening was pumps, short, skin-tight dresses, and not much else. If girls were practical, they threw on a clashing, but warm ski jacket.  Obviously, going out in the cold, dressed like will give you something to whine about!

I have a suggestion to remedy the plights of freezing Colby students—change the dress code. In order to alleviate their qualms, I have composed a What Not To Wear… Colby Edition.

I will begin with footwear. Instead of struggling on the semi-plowed pathways around campus with 5-inch pumps, replace them with L.L.Bean boots. 

Or, if you’re trying to be really fashion forward, rumor has it Manolo Blanik makes a “dressy,”  “knockoff” version of the Bean boot. That is if you can get your hands on them.    

Still dissatisfied, or trying to save a few bucks, Tommy Hilfiger makes his own version. They come in a variety of colors, and even come in a thigh-high version!

Now that the issue of footwear has been settled, let’s work our way up the outfit. If you chose the shorter version of boots, the next issue is legs. For those who normally brave bare-legs, the first step would be tights, but if you want to ensure warmth, or at least that your pasty legs don’t cause you to camouflage with the snow, there are a few options. Snow pants will solve the problem. And, there are even some fashionable choices out there. 

Pair them with a hot jacket, and you’re ready to go! 

Or perhaps the full body suit is more your style. 

But if you are a strict to your femininity and insist on wearing a dress, don’t fret. This dead animal will surely keep you warm; you might even get called foxy! 

Another benefit to this dress code, you don’t have to spend dollars on an updo or hours curling your hair. Finding the right hat will alleviate any need to do your hair. Two solutions: 1. You take off your hat, voila you have a one of a kind hairdo or 2. You find the perfect hat like this one. 

With this hat, you are set for the night. You don’t even have to take it off. It’s practically a wig!

Now Boys, as always, your task is a bit easier when it comes to attire. After all, there are only so many variations you can make on the shirt and pants combo, but maybe this new style offers you some more options. After all, fleeces do come in a wide variety of colors.

Start by replacing those loafers with a pair of Red Wing work boots. 

They are bound to get you through any snow bank and will provide you with great stability when you break out the moves on the dance floor.

Instead of a sport coat, wear a neon Patagonia fleece, no one will miss spotting you!

Guys, the best part about this outfit for you—you get to keep on your hats! But talk to your date, you want to make sure you don’t steal her hairstyle. That would be awkward. 

Trying to look dapper, you should opt for white snow pants, chicks will dig it.  

With this pair, you might get lucky… some girl might ask if she can jump your bones!

Guys, if you aren’t totally convinced, there are some added benefits. After all, I can’t image you enjoy being a crutch while walking to or from the Formal, with a death-grip on your arm from some lady in heels who is trying to avoid slipping on ice patch. Or how would you like to have something else to talk about other than how frigid and cold it is? So all in all, this dress code has its benefits for everyone!

Well there you have it, What Not To Wear to Winter Formal. If we’re lucky, next year this dress code will be enforced and we can all enjoy the night in distaste, but warmth! 

*Disclaimer- All fashion critiques are not the responsibility of the creator of WNTW-Maine. Beware, some people aren’t ready for such practical, posh fashion and may revolt.