Mr. & Ms. October
Becky is a junior with a passion for Frank’s Hot Sauce and sweet kicks.
Becky Newman ’13
Near, far, wherever you are, you’ll believe that your heart will go on after catching a glimpse of the dazzling Becky Newman ’13. No, you’re not dreaming, this tawny lioness is living proof that at last, your love has come along.
A descendent of Helen of Troy, Becky has decided to use her powers of beauty, syle and grace for good. Her dedication to her economics major is commendable, given that the value of the gifts from her suitors could pay off the national debt.
Becky hails from none other than the Dirty Jerz (which, for the record, is only dirty because she left). She prides herself in her roots and fights fiercely for those she loves (lucky ducks). Speaking of fighting fiercely, this past weekend Becky went skeet shooting for the first time and was a natural!
Trying new things doesn’t faze Becky, and neither does leadership. This year she was the COOT co-coordinator, which allowed her to display her responsible and creative prowess in a way that benefitted the masses. Because I imagine you’re already intimidated by Becky’s innumerable qualities, here are some tips on how to impress this desert flower.
When on a date, be sure that there’s an abundance of her favorite food—Frank’s Hot Sauce. Spicy! Then take her dancing, but make sure you polish your best dance moves because her ex-boyfriend is Justin Timberlake. Rumor has it that if you choreograph an entire dance to “We Found Love” by Rihanna, you’ll have a better chance of winning her favor.
Becky was the girl in middle school that always got asked to dance when “A Moment Like This” came on the stereo and she was always picked first in kickball.
And, for the record, she was too good looking for Bowdoin. I hope her heart has some vacancy because we want to know what love is, and we want Becky to show us.
Written by Michaela Pembroke
Lester Batiste ’13
They say all women have cravings for chocolate, and junior Lester Batiste has plenty to go around. He is a hunky 6’2” and 235 pounds of dark meat. And sorry to all of the vegans out there, but Meatless Mondays don’t apply when he eats in Dana. Known in the Twitter world as @Lboogzzzz, and “The Doc” among some associates, Lester is a warm hearted English major whose bark is worse than his bite.
If any girl on the Hill can deal with his thunderous voice that is often heard yelling profanities across the campus, he will also woo her by whispering sweet nothings into her ear on a Saturday night. Examples of his infamous pick up lines include: “Do you have a band-aid? Because I scraped my knee falling for you” or the classic, “Do you have any raisins? No? How about a date?” And don’t forget his favorite, built around school pride: “I have one thing in common with Colby’s mascot the mule—We’re both sterile.”
If you were wondering about things that would steal this young man’s heart I will gladly provide you with a list of helpful hints: Lester’s perfect woman: Somewhere between the height range of 4’9” and 6’3”. She is capable of holding a conversation longer than the average household mop. She doesn’t spell color “colour” (no British please!). She preferably has all of her appendages and most of her teeth. Most importantly she is loving and willing to give Lester his teddy bear love in return.
His perfect date: An English major and hip-hop lyricist, Lester would take you out and spit a couple rhymes for you while you rubbed his smooth skin with baby oil.
His perfect gift: Anything but a sweater because his ex-girlfriend wore cardigans and was a scratcher.
Written by Spencer Gopaul