A springtime sampler

I realized this weekend that Colby, while very good at doing winter and certainly no slouch at autumn, is woefully ill-equipped to handle the spring season.

Postcard: My life north of the border

But this past weekend, I finally mustered the courage to leave my homeland and participate in a grueling, total-immersion study abroad experience that had me outside the United States for almost 48 hours.

A poor choice of words

Try telling someone “go f**k yourself” and then apologizing by saying you chose your words poorly, and that you wouldn’t mind if the person instead chose to fornicate, copulate, consummate or have sex with himself. Hopefully, you will be punched in the face.

A dismal selection for the next election

I know it seems like just a decade since the current presidential race began, but we are already entering the final stretch.

Lawyers really need to lock it up

Friends, let it be clear that I am a firm supporter of the law and lawyers.

A few tidbits of Valentine's Day advice

"What are some good date ideas?

Looking at some news briefs

There are a few very important things happening in the realm of current events right now.

A no-turkey Thanksgiving

Every son dreads coming home from college to discover that his father has been reading some “alternative” literature and is now full of bizarre ideas about how to live.

Presidential candidates

A series of gut reactions to the Presidential candidates:

Reading the actual student handbook

“The student handbook is currently accessible online, but SGA members agree that it is difficult for students to find. It has also been alleged that the handbook’s content is out of date.”

My love for animals, not counting whales

This may come as a surprise to you, but I am not the sort of person who derives pleasure from wanton cruelty to animals. In fact, I would go even further and say that I am against wanton cruelty to animals.

This could be the worst Halloween ever

As I have repeatedly made clear to friends, professors and random people in bars, I am no supporter of the United Nations.

An instructional lesson on satire

Last week, reading the opinion section of the Echo, I noticed a challenger to the throne. Mr. Mark Gracyk, in writing his comedic rant against the Civil Discourse, created one of the funniest pieces I’ve read in years.

On the "grammar police"

There’s a lot going on in the world right now.

Getting a good night's sleep

It was almost twelve on Saturday night and there I was, lying limbs asprawl in my king-size bed, trying to appreciate the soft embrace of my scarlet red satin sheets.

Banned Books Week--Why Bother?

I simply cannot fathom why the American Library Association believes we need to protect books from being banned.

Let me bring this down to your hemisphere

How’s everyone doing? Moved in alright? Sinking your teeth into those new classes?

Thoughts on making sweet, tender, love to the system

There I was, out for an innocent April morning Segway ride, when I rode across some rather troubling graffiti.

For the Brits: Much ado about a few royal problems

There is no bigger fan of the British people than myself.

Beach Season Tips

My all-time favorite part of the year is very close. No, not Earth Day!

An issue that is worth its weight

If I were a journalist of less integrity, I might have some incendiary words for Mr. Rush Limbaugh. I might, for example, point out the fact that perhaps persons in lard houses should not throw cupcakes.

Is Hip-Hop becoming too cerebral? Just ask Waka Flocka Flame.

Jeezy uses quite complex rhyme schemes in his music, often rhyming the same word up to three times in rapid succession.

Scandal season begins

After a nationwide political battle that lasted many months and cost millions of dollars, I have just one thing to say: amateur hour is over.

People have different tastes in music than I do?

Like most of you, it takes a lot to make me fall into an emotional fit and cry hysterically into my pillow. Yet this is how I’ve gone to bed every night for the past several weeks.

What does that spell? Babcocks!

After an entire year at this fine institution, I am beginning to question our mascot.

Stop Shia LaBeouf

I realize that I have a serious responsibility to lucidly explain the day"s issues to the masses.

Alcohol: now's the time to act

I do not want to seem sensational, but I am of the opinion that the only way to protect the student body is a complete ban of hard alcohol.

Taking equality to the bathroom stall

In the state of Maine, the following things are illegal: consuming alcohol under the age of 21 and using an oppositely gendered bathroom.

Dorm Damage: A Great American Pastime

Nothing can match the therapeutic powers of punching drywall extremely hard or breaking a mirror because quite frankly you were not comfortable with the way that it was looking at you.

Unmatched Summer Job Advice

I'm afraid I have some startling news for you all. At first I refused to believe it, but after consulting my astrolabe, there seems to be no alternative. That's right, friends: summer is coming.

Throwing Down the Gauntlet

My Kind of Special Interest Housing

Coming to Colby as a freshman, one of my biggest worries was my living situation. I have very particular living habits, you see. I must have an east-facing window. I cannot have a room that is too square. I like to practice my sousaphone while the sun comes up.

There is no "I" in America

There are so many articles concerning “congressional deadlock” and “budget reconciliation” that by the time I finish the front page, I am too tired to find out who won the local pie eating contest.

Nothing to do but Drink!